directions_run Run • Nov. 16, 2025, 11 p.m.

I haven’t written a reflection yet this year, so I have one last chance to get a good one in the books. Hopefully this makes up for my subpar logging. As the culmination of years of miles and a disappointing cross country season weighed on my shoulders, I approached the line at NXR with a familiar sense of dread. I’ve drilled it into my head that cross country isn’t my thing, but today I felt different. I looked at my teammates and saw my brothers, and it made me feel capable. So I grinned a bit while I did my strides. Today wasn’t gonna be another failed race - no stakes means nothing to lose. So I crouched at the whistle with a smile. I was going to push as hard as I could for them, then let the rest fall where it may. 1. “Bang?” As the starter gun weakly rang out, I spent more time than usual determining what the noise was. However, so did the rest of the field. My experiment with my watch during conference convinced me to wear it this time. I wish I hadn’t. I went out GUNS BLAZING. I wanted to be as aggressive as I could manage from the get go, using the downhill as a means of getting as far away from the stampede as possible. As the front pack and I screamed through the first mile, I made the mistake of checking my watch. 4:58. Shocked, I assessed my resources and told myself I could hold onto the pace; but my subconscious had other plans. I felt the cross country “angel” wrap its tendrils around my body around 800m later. The urge to slow down lulled me into a complacent race mindset. It was here that I was passed probably 20 times. But I hadn’t given up yet. 2. Hell Nothing noteworthy happened here, unless you count slowing to a pace 40 seconds slower than your first mile as noteworthy. Which I guess it is. As cramps developed in my core and my legs lost their bounce, I gritted my teeth and committed to not losing any more places. I knew that, once I saw my teammates, I’d get my lungs back. I repeated “pain is fake” as a mantra, recalling that my psych teacher was in the crowd somewhere watching. Sure, it distracted me, but telling yourself you aren’t in pain won’t stop you from hurting like shit. 3. “Hu?” As I predicted, seeing the guys cheering energized me. With about 1000 to go, I caught a glimpse of a too-long haircut and an overpriced Nike hat. But I don’t know hu it was. I placed a target on him and started to accelerate. If there’s one thing I know how to do, it’s how to kick when I’m behind Hu. (rhyme) Andrew and I crossed the finish line within a second of each other. I almost collapsed even giving him a handshake. I sure am glad I have a race partner Hu pushes me like that. 4. Afterthoughts When I came back to the team area, I felt as if I had fought an army (which honestly did happen given the amount of runners). Very rarely am I willing to accept a “Good job!” from a teammate, but this was one of those few times I felt proud of myself. Plenty of my time this season has been spent celebrating my teammates, so it was surprising to be able to celebrate myself for once. According to estimates from my splits, I came through the 3 mile in something between 16:25 and 16:32. Considering the amount of preparation I did last night (more on my feet than usual and less mental focus), I can’t believe I pulled off a PR. Maybe fun with the team really is a time dropper. Anyways, I’m very pleased with how the guys did today, and, even if they aren’t, at least we had fun and got good photos. This season was yet another beautiful memory to file away. It’s time for me to reset and prepare myself for what’s to come. I’m ready to do something great.